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Love It Or Lose It: My Struggle with Body Positivity.

My body and I aren’t getting along. I can’t even look in the mirror most days. I’m soft and doughy. I have no problem with curves or being plus size. I don’t have a flat stomach though, and my body lacks tone.

Right now my stomach looks pregnant. But it’s not. I don’t even feel like I have a right to use Jack as an excuse for this momma’s tummy because he was under 3lbs at birth.

My husband loves me for me, no matter what. While I appreciate that sentiment and love him even more for his continued expression of it, it still doesn’t help with my body issues.

I was complaining to my good friend Liz the other day, about my lack of body positivity regarding my extra weight and she said something that did help. She said, “you have to decide to love it or lose it.”

Go ahead and file that one under real talk.

I’ve decided to take my friends advice, sort of because I’m gonna love it, and lose it. I have to accept the fact that loving my body means caring for it somehow and I need to lose this unhealthy feeling.

I don’t want to focus on any specific weight goals though, mostly I just want to focus on making more mindful decisions about what I eat and drink. Explicitly avoiding snacking, eating while bored, and chocolate in mass quantities.

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January 15th, 2018

Initially, I had planned to share my struggle with you all in the form of weekly accountability posts, but that’s canceled. I have decided that I don’t owe any of you a peek at my vulnerability or access into all of the details of my journey, so we’ll just see what I post when I post it.

However, if you have a story or tips to share, please feel free to share them in the comments.

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Wednesday Morning

Lately, when Jack wakes up instead of heading straight for the T.V. he will head over to his school area and start playing.

He likes to pretend he’s painting classic paintings. But he also does a little coloring of his own. He also likes playing and pretending to play his daddy’s melodica.

Pretending, using his imagination, and acting things out is the primary way Jack likes to process and apply new information.

Anyway, this morning I busted out my camera and just quietly documented his activities.

What’s That Smell!?

Over the weekend our border collie stuck his head up a skunks butt and had an offensive skid mark from his snout down to his chest to prove it. This was the worst smelling skunking I have ever experienced. I have smelt many a skunk growing up downwind from a chicken farm in Oregon. But this shit could’ve gagged a maggot.
Jeremy threw up. I was gagging. The damn dog didn’t even come in the house. It was 2 AM and raining. The smell crept through every crack and seal in the house. It smelled like burning tires and onions. Jeremy didn’t believe that it was skunk smell. HE CHECKED THE POLICE SCANNER!
The skunking took place in the backyard, but the front yard was untouched and had a cool breeze, and so I slept with my head on the windowsill on and off until daylight.
Fortunately, Jack stayed asleep through the event. But as soon as he was up I knew I had to wash our poor dog.
Tomato sauce is the remedy you always hear about, or vinegar or whatever, but I did a little googling and found a recipe involving hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, dawn dish soap.
Now, I didn’t follow the instructions exactly, and I didn’t measure anything, I just eyeballed it. Then, I washed the dog outside with the hose because we live in California and because the smell made me so nauseous. Also, I couldn’t find the damn peppermint oil, and I had to walk around with toothpaste on my nose.
Anyway, should this ever happen to you follow this recipe found here and here.
If you can’t bear to bring the dog inside for a bath, I feel you, and I know the hose will work. However, our dog is big, really big so if your dog is too little to hose down in the backyard in the middle of January well, I feel bad for you.
Step One: Gather supplies including a plastic bucket or tub, gloves, and a mask if needed.
Step Two: Combine ingredients and soak a rag or sponge and scrub the affected area of the dog. In our case, you could see the skunks scorch mark.

*Let it sit for 2 minutes.
*Rinse.
*Repeat.
*Keep treating the dog until the smell subsides.
*For best results wash the dog ASAP.

Step Three: Wash the dog entirely with their dog wash or the dawn dish soap (which counts as a flea bath).

This method did the trick, and our poor dog took it like a champ. There is still a little residual smell, but it’s not strong it’s more like a whiff now and then, a fraction of the nightmarish smell that it was.

I know it’s skunk mating season and if that’s what a skunk in heat smells like holy shit balls that stench is unreal.

 

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