What’s with you all natural moms anyway? Where do you ladies get the patience required for maintaining a holistic lifestyle? I see you ladies on Instagram, writing lists by hand and dedicating yourselves to curating some kind of magical vibe and rhythmic flow in your home with essential oils and shit.
Meanwhile, I’m marching my little fingers across a keyboard instead of flipping through a recipe book. I sling Frito Lays at my kid left and right, and I read everything but ingredients labels.
I love you all natural mom’s, I do. I wish I had the personality component you guys all seem to possess that enables you to be your homes holistic warrior, but I just don’t have it. I’m lazy and self-indulgent when it comes to the foods I eat and serve as well as the products I use. I hate knowing about all the cancer-causing chemicals and being guilt tripped about GMO’s and processed foods.
I admire you natural path moms I do, I just wish you guys would relax a little sometimes you know, let your hair down Marry Poppins you don’t have to be practically perfect in every way. Consider this post your official invitation to come party with me so we can grub on Cheetos and Pabst Blue Ribbon while we watch our kid’s play in the dirt and poke at bugs with sticks.