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Posts from the ‘Family’ Category

I confess…

Since I’ve been working and going to school for over a year now, I have noticed myself feeling judgmental or resentful toward Jeremy as a stay at home dad. Not a lot, but on occasion, like, when the house is a wreck and Jack has done nothing but eat chips and rampage all day.

 In those moments when I judge my husband for not taking care of the laundry and dishes in addition to taking care of Jack, that I have to remember that I had days like that too. Days where I kept Jack alive and fortified with chips and crackers, and relatively entertained by a third party (YouTube and Netflix)  In fact, I still have days like that.

It’s important for me to remind myself now and again, that being a parent does not require perfection at all times. Some days spent at home with a small child, much like some days spent at work, are entirely shit house. At least I can clock out from work, but I won’t clock out from being a parent, and the same goes for Jeremy.

In other words, It’s okay if we drop the ball sometimes. Not every moment of Jack’s childhood is going to be sunshine and arts and crafts. I can not hold my husband to an unfair double standard as a stay at home dad. If it was ok for me to have a fuck all day, then it’s ok for Jeremy.

Our house may not look perfect and Instagram-worthy all of the time and the dishes in the dishwasher are not always going to be clean and if you come over to visit, you may crunch a cheerio under your foot while striding across our kitchen floor, because two year olds. 


To my husband, I love you and I appreciate you no matter how little or how much you accomplish in a day. (Although I have to admit, nothing turns me on quite like the sound of dishes being washed.)

And as for dad’s go, you’ve already got both of ours beat. You’re a wonderful husband and father and Jack and I both love you dearly, and unconditionally.

Thank you.


Winter Break

Fall semester is over, and I am presently enjoying the second of two consecutive days off. I was going to wait to blog about my fall semester until after grades have been posted, but decided that I am proud of myself regardless of grades. Like last semester I did not miss any class time or any assignments. But unlike last semester I took nine units instead of six, and worked five days a week, with my only days off being school days.

I was not alone in my endeavor, my husband and MIL picked up my slack and supported me through every deadline. Jack tolerated my absence from the home and obliged to play nicely while I did homework alongside him in the kitchen or living room.
Much of the time I felt guilty for having to arrange and prioritize my quality time with him so rigidly. But I never wavered where my school work was concerned. I did, however, call off to work when Jack needed his mama at home, or when my back hurt too much, or when both Graham men were sick.

As I was wrapping up my final exams earlier this month, I was also knee deep in holiday shoppers at my job. My stress level reached an all time high and my eye began to twitch regularly. Jack was acting out and being extra sensitive, calling himself a baby and insisting I carry him everywhere. One of those nights I was putting Jack to bed, and I told him that I was almost finished with the semester, and would soon have a whole month off. He let out a big sigh and gave me a sad and severe look.

Later the next day I was thinking about Jack, and all the time together we had to sacrifice, and I decided to register for just two classes for the spring semester. As much as I want to push my way through school as hard as I can, I also need Jack to know that he is my number one priority.

I can always take a class in the summer to make up the difference. Jack is growing and changing so quickly that I want to be as present for him as possible. I want him to know that his mama works hard and tries her best, and sometimes I can not be with him, but that he is my reason for everything.



End of Summer Cold.

Well, our family’s annual end of summer cold has descended upon us. First me, I brought it home from work I’m sure, now Jack. If I’m lucky it will skip over Jeremy and grammy. 

Poor Jack is all stuffy with a low grade fever. But he’s in a very good mood overall.

We’re supposed to go camping this weekend with family. We’ve been planning the trip since Jack was a tiny babe. So I’m really hoping we’re all well enough in time.

Unfortunately, I’ve had to call in to work twice now due to this terrible bout of cooties. On top of not getting paid I’m also missing important training for a position I’m supposed to take over soon.

At this point I have no choice but to leave it up to the universe, and try to get us well. We’re not sick in this house often but when we are it’s awful.

Hopefully everything works out for the best. I start school next week too and then I will really not have time to be sick.

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